10 Reasons Bad Relationships are Good

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Wait!  Don’t get 30 cats!  Read below to find the 10 reasons bad relationships are good!

Suffering from a recent break-up?  Constantly reminiscing about a troubled friendship from the past?  Don’t know why out of all the people who care about you, you can’t stop thinking about the ones who don’t?   Take a moment to read the 10 reasons bad relationships are good.

1.       The relationship provided a moment of enlightenment for you.

I’m not really sure what happened in this relationship.  The person might not have respected you, maybe violated some major boundary for you, or simply did not provide for you what you were looking for in relationships.  But whatever the defining moment that sent your relationship partner packing, was a moment of enlightenment for you.  It forced you (or it least it should have forced you) to look at something in a different way that you had never looked at before.  And that is called “growth.”

2.       The relationship helped you to learn how special you are.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about life and relationships, it’s that everyone that you meet, just doesn’t deserve to take a permanent position within your “intimate circle.”  You’ve got to be selective with those with whom you invite.  If for some reason a person does not make the cut and/or voluntarily removes themselves, it reflects the reality that you have something that the other person just cannot handle appropriately.  I would say that that makes you pretty special.

3.       The relationship helped you to realize what you DO NOT want from a relationship.

Whatever it was that caused the termination of this relationship, my hope is that you learned from this such that you can realize what to look for in future relationships.  You already know how difficult things can be within this relationship, so you should take your pursuit to eliminating all current and future relationships from maintaining the very element that brought this relationship to termination.

4.       The relationship helped to expose you to some of your own vulnerabilities and hidden demons.

Cowards play the “it’s your fault game.”  But true growth and development occurs when you admit that you are at fault as well.  When relationships fail, you should be forced to see your own vulnerabilities and demons.  These elements, though often uncomfortable, if appropriately, accessed can make you a better person for the future.  By being open and authentic with yourself, you improve your character and become better both individually and as a relationship partner.

5.       The relationship gave you an opportunity to experience “love” and “intimacy.”

Ever heard the saying “It’s better to have loved and loss than to have never loved at all?”  It’s true.  Even though the relationship did not have a “happily ever after ending” it gave you an opportunity to experience some of the most serene, intimate, and sacred experiences known to man.  These emotional experiences are incomparable and will add extreme measures to your quality of life.

6.       The relationship provided you with experiences that you wouldn’t have had otherwise.

When relationships end, it is easy to think of all the things that went wrong in the relationship, but what about the things that went right?  The reality is, you entered and remained within this relationship for some reason.  Whatever that reason is, there is something that you gained from that experience.  Don’t allow the discomfort associated with the experiences of the relationship, to completely override the good.  This will be not only a disservice to the relationship, but it will be a disservice to you.

7.       The relationship helped you to learn something about yourself.

You might have learned more about your “limits.”   You might have learned about the things that you like, don’t like, will tolerate.  You might have learned about your pass.  No matter what it is that you learned, the important thing is YOU LEARNED.  Relationships are all about growth, expansion, and interpersonal/intrapersonal effectiveness.  When you have these skills, you become a better person.  Relationships help you to obtain them, and for that we should all be very thankful.

8.       The relationship helped you to realize the person that you DO NOT want to be in a relationship.

Hopefully, by observing the negative characteristics of others, it will assist you with learning what you DON’T want to be.  This is especially helpful because without these relationships, we may be oblivious to some of our very negative interactions.  However, when we see negative characteristics in others, we have a personal responsibility to look closely at ourselves as a means for being sure that we don’t display these very characteristics.  In essence, by experiencing undesirable hardship in our relationships with others, we should become a better relationship partner ourselves.

9.       The relationship helped you to redefine your boundaries.

Whether you were the person who was asked to leave the relationship or the person asking the other person to leave, there was something about the relationship that needed to be redefined.  That something was okay at one point of time, but was no longer okay for either of you and that is referred to as a “boundary.”  By redefining them after the termination of your relationship, you can be sure to establish and maintain relationships in the future that have the healthy, long term relationship boundaries in which you desire.

10.     The relationship helped you to appreciate other relationships.

And last but certainly not least, my motto is as follows: “I’m sure at least somebody in this world likes my enemies, therefore, I don’t have to!”  Well that is so true, even when it applies to you being the one who is no longer “liked” or desired within the relationship.  As long as somebody in this world likes you and wants to be around you, then it doesn’t matter if others do not.

Bad relationships can seem like a thorn in your thigh!  But by finding the benefit in experiencing them, you will come out on top.  Hopefully, you will be well prepared to manage your next relationship break-up by finding the reasons that bad relationships are good.

Healthy Relationships, Uncategorized ,

4 comments


  1. Hi, Connie! ~

    Some great pointers here! My favorite is this: “Relationships are all about growth, expansion, and interpersonal/interpersonal effectiveness.”

    I agree with this concerning relationships with people and even relationships with life experiences — in fact, that’s kind of synchronized with the message of my current blog post. Glad we ‘met’ and I’m enjoying getting to know you through your posts and comments ;-)

    • ladyhoodjourney ladyhoodjourney

      Linda,
      I’m sorry for my delayed response (I thought I had already responded). I appreciate your on-going support. I think you’re pretty awesome too… Coming your way soon!

  2. So I read this post because the title made me laugh out loud and to be honest, I was expecting some pithy platitudes that would be sarcastic and lightly damning about relationships. What I found instead was some solid advice that I think can be adopted for those people who have broken up but also for those who are in relationships. Each of the pieces of advice can be applied to an existing relationship to reinforce why its working or to give you a wake up call if its not. This is well written and well thought out. Thanks!
    Debra Yearwood recently posted…Body Language – Managing You, So You Can Deliver Your Message – PART 2My Profile

    • ladyhoodjourney ladyhoodjourney

      Nice to meet you Debra… So nice of you to stop by. I appreciate your support! (and yes, I was also moved by my photo title) :)…

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