I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. ~Psalm 34: 4 – 5
As women, we all have what I like to refer to as “the nurturer” which is reared inside each of us. It comes from a mixture of nurture vs nature, but irrespective of its origins, we’re bound to be motivated by it. We want to help, help, and provide more help, until we cannot help anymore. And while to most of us, this desire to do so comes naturally, the way in which we execute this feat can cause more damage than we intend. Many of us want to nurture by “doing.” We want to prevent something bad from happening and/or fix something after it has been broken. And while our motives are genuine, our efforts at times can be futile. We are often reluctant to realize that we can only do so much, especially without the support from The Almighty above. In reality, the greatest gift that we can give to our loved ones and to ourselves, is the gift of God, Love, and Blessings. In other words, most of us need to learn to Let Go and Let God!
This was recently presented to me through a conversation that I had with a colleague of mine. My husband has been facing a challenge where I feel helpless regarding the situation. I feel that as a wife, I am supposed to support my husband, no matter what. I am held responsible for this by the following quotes:
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. ~ Genesis 2:22-24
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. ~ Proverbs 12:4
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. ~ Proverbs 19:14
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. ~ Proverbs 31:10
In my attempts to provide the appropriate comfort for him, I often end up insulting him and further discouraging him from the direction in which he wishes to go. In conversing with my colleague about this very issue, she helped me to realize that my greatest sense of help comes, not by finding strength in what I can do, but finding strength in what God can do.
Nurturing women, I am telling you, the same thing that I am learning to tell myself… please Let go and Let God.
I know that it may be tempting to want to come in and save the day for our loved ones. Many of you are amazing professionals, mothers, wives, sisters, friends, etc., and your whole identity resides within your ability to be a nurturer. But by wanting to take charge of things and fixing it ourselves, we are only demonstrating an act of arrogance. No matter what powers we have within our reach, it does not compare to the power of the Lord God above. It doesn’t mean that we should just pray and leave things as-is, for there will be times where God will talk to us and tell us what to do. But when we approach nurturing from a non-faith based perspective, we lose sight of where our help comes from and who holds the final decision for both ourselves and our loved ones. By exercising a sense of humility, and honoring the strength which comes from the Lord above, one will find that we can be the best nurturers that we can be.
So the next time, when you are faced with the unthinkable and your greatest goal is to solve the problem through nurturance, don’t forget from where your greatest sense of nourishment resides…
Now listen to Aretha Franklin, while she reminds us What a Friend We Have in Jesus…