I was only trying to help you!
Well if you would have listened to where I was coming from, you would have understood!
I was just telling you the right way!
Are you reading the above quotes, or are you revisiting the above quotes that you have either said or had said to you by another party? You see, we all like to communicate and we all have a perspective. But some of us think that we are entitled to communicate our perspective towards one another, at the expense of… well… communication… When this happens, one has to beg to question, are the motives behind the argument more aligned with constructive criticism or prideful arrogance?
Let’s review the difference.
Constructive criticism occurs in a conversation between people, who are in a conflict. However, in spite of this conflict, the people involved still manage to be respectful, encouraging, and motivational to the other. The feedback involved is not necessarily intended to persuade the other partner either way, nor is it intended to make a partner feel bad for the perspective that they have chosen. Rather, it is simply a way for one partner to be able to communicate in an effective manner to the other partner, ways in which this partner is making choices that are undesirable, unhealthy, or counterproductive. Furthermore, the element of “agreeing to disagree” is ever present, meaning that the receiving partner should be able to disagree with the other, without the burden of feeling any negative emotions tied to the outcome. In essence, constructive criticism occurs when a partner truly wishes to highlight the flaws of another person, because they care and because they hope to make them a better person.
Now, for an explanation on prideful arrogance.
Basically, this is when the quotes listed above occur. A person is communicating their perspective, not to necessarily encourage the other person to become a better person; rather this perspective is being encouraged because the person presenting their perspective holds an unrealistic perspective of themselves that places them above the other. This scenario is usually seen when their is a relationship of “authority” between two people. The person “in charge” or the person with prideful arrogance, is somehow under the impression that their perspective is superior to the other, and uses this perspective to oppress or subjugate the other. The persons sole intent, while sometimes disguised as a means to encourage the other person, is really proposed in some way to feed their own grandiosity and to encourage them to feel as if their perspective is “right” and the other person is “wrong.” When they sense the slightest opposition from their opponent, they come out fighting for their perspectives and adhere to the concept that they have a right to oppose their views on others. Furthermore, prideful arrogance does not include the elements of respect, encouragement, and motivation, as seen in constructive criticism. In situations of this matter, when the other party is unreceptive to the perspective of the person with the prideful arrogance, that person, then forces their perspective on the other.
Yet, 1 Samuel 2:3 informs us Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.
Hence, a person with prideful arrogance might try to convince the other that their perspective comes from constructive criticism, but Jesus Christ above knows otherwise.
So the next time that you get in that dialogue and you notice that either you or the other person are disagreeing, don’t forget to be mindful of your own self. Is your motive for your position, truly indicative of constructive criticism, or does it come from some selfish need to exercise prideful arrogance?
Have you experienced either? If so, tell us about it now!