Photo Credit


I am in my final stages of winding down for my trip to Jamaica with my hubby, Daniel.  As the days get closer and closer, I am excited about the ability to let loose, be free, and have some F-U-N.  Between the demands of book writing, marketing, private practice, and PhD program, I am in desperate need of this vacation.  But in reality, I am also petrified of the experience!  No, I’m not worried about going to a 3rd world country, inclement weather, or sunburns… My worries FAR exceed those challenges… I’m worried about… are you ready???? WEIGHT GAIN!

You see, I am pre-diabetic, and my doctor said that at the rate that I’m going, I’ll have diabetes in 10 years…That was a year ago!  The thought of having to monitor my blood sugar on a daily basis, as well as the plethora of other challenges related to diabetes is traumatic for me!  I’m not going to lie… another challenge that I face is living in a weight obsessed society, that looks poorly upon weight gain.  These factors, combined, make me terrified at the prospect of weight gain because I face what seems to be a never ending battle regarding it.  As a result, I tend to manage my weight relatively well while at home, but when on vacation, I have a much harder time of doing so.  I tend to associate having a good time with eating all the good foods in excess that I would never eat on a day-to-day basis.  And to be honest… I have much appreciation for the food while in the moment, but I hate the aftermath that I refer to as “greedy guilt.”Most recently, I’ve attended two cruises (Bahamas for 4 days and Bermuda for 7 days).  Between the two cruises, I gained about 18 lbs.! (uhhhh…. uhhhh…. Don’t judge me!  My metabolism just isn’t what it used to be!)  Between the two cruises I would say I’ve been able to keep about 12 of the lbs. off, but I’ve got an all-inclusive resort coming up and I’m terrified of the weight return!

As with everything in life, however, when you Know Better, You Do Better.  With my weight challenge, I’ve learned a few things along the way.  Unlike either of these previous cruises, I will implement a plan of action.  First, in addition to monitoring my caloric and carbohydrate intake, I have entered a 10 day fruit and vegetable pre-Jamaica challenge.  I”m currently on day 5! I do allow myself to use olive oil and seasonings as well as drink non-sugar drinks.  If you’re wondering, watching Daniel eat Bojangles and Chick-Fila in the same day almost sent me into the nut house!  Additionally, I plan to bring, along with me, a “sexy” work out suit and engage in some physical activity every day of my trip. (I specify “sexy,” because sometimes I view working out as frumpy and unappealing.  This decreases my motivation for doing it, especially while vacationing).  Finally, I am programming my mind to eat only when I’m hungry and to stop when I’m full (before I start to have a belly that says “I must be 4 months”).  You see, knowledge is power.  I know that this is a weakness of mind, so putting some goals in place is useful to help me to overcome them.

swim suit

The picture right above took place at a beach in New York and therefore was not considered a “vacation…” (I used to live in New York).  I tried to upload a picture of myself in Bermuda (which was where we went for our honeymoon) but I remember being so self-conscious of my weight gain that I was too ashamed to keep a copy of the photos.  But my last effort to “do better” will be to commit myself to showing you pictures of myself, in A BATHING SUIT in Jamaica…  Stay tuned for an update…  In the meantime, however, how do you choose to use your knowledge for power?

Body Image, Discipline, Intuition, Personal , ,


  1. Pingback: Sacred Journey to Ladyhood: A Woman's Guide Through Her Writes of Passage ~ After Jamaica Bathing Suit :)

  2. Pingback: Sacred Journey to Ladyhood: A Woman's Guide Through Her Writes of Passage ~ It’s Just a Little Excuse

  3. Pingback: Sacred Journey to Ladyhood: A Woman's Guide through Her Write of Passage ~ Now this IS Change…

  4. Pingback: Living Large and Taking Charge

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge